I love haters, negative comments, critics… etc. They are a great source of entertainment for me these days.
I completely understand the anxiety, fear, anger and frustration of receiving negative comments or reviews. I’ve totally been there when my confidence was still very vulnerable to these trolls. It does take all your esteem to the dumps, and you question everything about yourself.
It’s crazy to think someone so insignificant in our lives – some random person in the public who probably really didn’t think about their comment/review for more than half a second – can completely ruin our mental state with a few words. I’ve been there.
And then there’s the process of rebuilding your esteem – with positive self talk, peer support, positive content and other reinforcements. It’s a real roller coaster to be on.
I am glad I am largely over that hump and would love to see more people getting over theirs too.
Here’s the big realisation for me. If you don’t have haters, you ain’t nobody. The more authority you desire as an individual, the more lives you want to touch & impact, the more value you want to provide as an individual or business, the bigger waves you want to create in your community, the more negative feedback you can expect.
You’re probably doing something right if you have critics and probably not enough if you don’t have your fair share of trolls/critics. #sorrynotsorry for being blunt.
Not everyone is going to like you, not everyone is going to agree with you. That’s completely ok. Remember the bulk of people who show up for you and love you for it everyday! That’s the reason why you do what you do – for the true fans who show up intentionally for you. And if you don’t think you have true fans, look harder. They might be people in the wings you’ve taken for granted.
Backing up slightly.. this post was inspired by a fellow business owner who was stressing about a bad review about her bakery. The customer basically rated her bakery 2/5 stating that the taste did not suit him. Fair enough, I say. It’s not truely a bad review. And there is probably nothing the business owner could do… except give him a tongue transplant?
Negative feedback that are neutral like the one mentioned above are like unicorns. There are plenty of negative comments that are emotionally charged, abusive, vulgar and hurtful in the pandora’s box that is the internet. Some of them are made by professional critics and trolls who do this all day… because they have nothing else going on in their lives.
So how much time and emotion do you want to spend on these bl**dy slugs? I made my conclusion one day at breaking point that it’s going to be ZERO. I’m too busy being awesome, having fun and building my empire. For some of us, that decision holds up easily like a concrete wall and for some of us it’s a muscle that we gradually build up.
Regardless, the more energy you give to trolls and critics,
- the more they grow and fight back.
- The less time and energy you have to live your life
The worst thing about critics and trolls is actually NOT that they are damaging your reputation/work but that they can suck you completely dry of inspiration, energy and take you off focus. Letting them become a real distraction in your life can ruin your gifts and this reason alone is why I take a stand on learning how to completely ignore critics, especially those that may not be a good fit for your personality / perspective / business at all.
I’m not referring to the constructive criticism or honest personal experience type of comments and reviews from customers or peers. Some bad reviews can provide great insight to improve what we do, and it’s great to take those on board.
Taking a wide perspective, remember that every negative comment is just one person’s personal opinion. Yes, us business owners get sensitive about it because that’s not what the customer thinks. But learning to love and celebrate my haters & critics as a sign that I’m doing something right and making waves in this world has allowed me to channel my energy towards my craft and skill. Ultimately, it’s only through getting better at what we do that will being the avalanche of good reviews to drown out the bad.